During the digital music festival Flower Tower at A’DAM Tower last Summer, we had the opportunity to sit down with Annelies Vette. She is a Stress and Burnout Coach, speaker, and author of the book Zout water.
Hi Annelies, thank you for joining our talk about stress and burnouts today. You wrote a book about your Burnout. Could you share your experience with us? What was being burn-out like for you?
“For me, it felt like walking into a wall. You reach a certain point where you just can’t keep going anymore. Suddenly things get quiet and you notice you can’t do anything anymore. For me, it happened when I received an email at work. I didn’t know how to respond to that email anymore. I went blank. At that moment I didn’t know how to organize my life anymore.”
Did you find a way to re-structure your life?
“Truth is, if you’re going to continue whatever you were doing before you had your burnout - it will happen again. You need to ask yourself: ‘what does work for me’? This is the moment to tune into your heart and visualize yourself on a path. You don’t need to know where this path will lead you, you only need to take one step at a time. I used to want to know where I wanted to go, I wanted to know what goals I would walk towards. But I realized that those goals don’t exist.”
‘What am I doing here?’
‘Why am I here?’
‘Is this all?’
Would it be correct to state that instead of acting with your head, you started to act with your heart? Is that something you had to teach yourself?
“I was always stuck in my own head - even though I led a rather intuitive life as a child. When I studied law, I was constantly busy with finding and solving problems with my head. We were trained to think rationally. This mindset continued when I entered the workforce but then I also applied this critical thinking to my own life. Thoughts entered my head such as ‘What am I doing here?’, ‘Why am I here?’ and ‘Is this all?’. This is where I got stuck.”
Is this when it started?
“It felt like I had bumped my head, had fallen down on the ground and woke up all disoriented and confused.”
Can you share what being burn-out does to people?
“I can only tell you what it did to me. I was incapable of doing pretty much anything. I didn’t want to do anything, felt depressed and couldn’t make sense of things anymore. I was completely empty. Once I started recovering a bit, and went back to my life, the same thoughts came back quickly. ‘What am I doing here at this job?’. Whenever I voiced these thoughts, people quickly reassured me that it was just temporary.”
Was it temporary?
“No, those voices in my head repeated the same questions over and over, and louder and louder. One time, my boss pointed out a mistake I made and I almost burst into tears. She told me: ‘But Annelies, it’s not like anybody died’, and this is when things suddenly made sense to me. I told the people at work that I couldn’t do it anymore - I simply didn’t belong there anymore. Maybe I never really belonged there at all. They tried to reassign me to another position but I knew I had to get out of there. I knew and felt in my heart I had to leave. Leaving my old job was the first step on my new path”
“You are responsible for your own life.”
Your experience eventually resulted in the book Zout water….
“Yes, once you stop and listen to the voice in your heart - beautiful things will enter your life. For me it was this book. Lots of people told me ‘Wow that this happened to you!’ as if it was bad faith that I had gotten me into being burn-out. But being burn-out can happen to anyone. I felt fed up and decided to share my experience and educate people about it. I started writing a blog, and when I received positive feedback I proceeded to write some more. Before I knew it, I wrote an article about how one should be responsible for their own burn-out. Not your boss, not your teacher or professor - you are responsible for your own life.”.
And this article was shared a lot?
“ Yes and then I got a contract offered by a publisher to write a book about it.''
Do you give people the tools to change or do better in your book?
“I do, but initially I thought it would be a story about my journey before, during, and after being burn-out. As I wrote it, however, It became more a guide for people on how to listen and follow their hearts.”
Can you share a tip on how to follow your heart?
“Even if you don’t know anything anymore - start doing something that makes you happy. I know this sounds obvious, but when you do something that brings you joy, you create positive vibrations and energy around yourself. You get more energy and this can even lead to new insights.”
Do you have an example?
“Okay, say you always wanted to paint, but you’re afraid to start because you aren’t good at it. Just do it anyway! Explore and see if it brings you happiness.”
When you wrote your book, you told us it was quite intense at times.
“I already knew beforehand that it would be a wild journey. I had to go through all those memories of my old job again. It was very in your face and intense, and even though I talked about it a lot it still triggers emotions in me. It also made me think thoughts such as ‘am I truly recovered if I still get emotional about it?’ - but I soon realized that recovery is like a spiral. It has several layers and it is all a longer process towards recovery. I see it now as a beautiful process.”
Eventually, you started to live a more intuitive life. It has been quite the journey for you, but what beautiful things has it brought you in the end?
“What a good question. I think the best example is my book, of course. But another example is the way my life works now. I am selling my house in Amsterdam because it’s time for me to move on. But I don’t even know where I’m moving to! Or when we canceled our vacation at the last minute because we changed our minds about the destination. We spontaneously picked another location and I immediately felt I needed to spend more time there. After that holiday I returned very soon and again and again. I spent a total of four months in Cape Verde and finished writing my book there, also I realized I had other things to do there, that I'm currently planning. I will go back soon!’
“Something that felt right four weeks ago doesn't need to feel right today”
Today’s world is filled with anxiety and people are feeling very worried. What do you think the current zeitgeist has got to do with risks for being burn-out or other stress-related symptoms?
“It’s important to know about our stress system - also known as our reptile brain. This reptile brain recognizes anxiety and fear and triggers our brain. It scans for negative thoughts and stores it. In today’s modern age there were already a lot of stimulations all around us. But with Corona, our reptile brain keeps on registering fear and anxiety. If you constantly update and follow the news, for example, you will notice your reptile brain doesn’t switch off anymore - it’s constantly actively scanning and finding negativity. This can result in stress-related symptoms such as an unhealthy lifestyle, getting overweight and possibly a risk for being burn-out.
Could an answer for that be to focus on what makes you happy?
“Perhaps it would be advisable to switch off the television and do something that brings you happiness instead”
Thank you Annelies for this inspiring conversation. Do you want to know more about her story and tips?
Make sure to check out her book Zout water.